Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
