Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
