I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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