whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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