Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
