wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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