We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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