I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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