found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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