im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize