Who did Billy Mays play for?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
