Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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