yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
