I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
