I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
