Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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