so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
