I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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