Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize