I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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