I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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