Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
