Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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