I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Come on in and take your pants off
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