I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
