my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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