..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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