one two three fourrrrnication!
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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