now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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