i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
