Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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