New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
