Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
