Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
