Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
