I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm just crazy horny about you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
