i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
