office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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