i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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