People in love make me want to vomit
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
