we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
