Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
