so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
