Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
