is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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