Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
