I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
