Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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