I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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