did you get engaged???
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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