What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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