All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
