Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
