i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
