you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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