So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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