DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
