i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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