its not stalking. its research.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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