what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
