She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
