She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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