My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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