Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My Sexting was not on an AP level
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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