Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize